Below, you’ll find what is purported to be the trailer for Gore Verbinski’s beleaguered western, The Lone Ranger, starring Armie Hammer as the Ranger and Johnny Depp as Tonto, which is the Potawatomi word meaning “actor with black-and-white face paint and a crow hat.”
I use the word “purported” because there’s not a lot of Lone Ranger in this Lone Ranger preview. Actually, there’s a little more “actor with black-and-white face paint and a crow hat” than there is Lone Ranger, but that’s really not a surprise is it?
Most of this trailer plays more like an 1860s commercial for the railroad industrial complex than a movie about a masked avenger and his Native American sidekick, who wears black-and-white face paint and a crow hat. But I digress.
The Lone Ranger was a famously troubled production that teetered on the brink of cancellation more than once, though you’d never know it by looking at the train commercial trailer. Verbinski might’ve had his budget cut down to a mere $215 million by the evil Disney overlords, but the flick somehow still manages to look pretty epic. (Yet, with that much cash, you figure they could afford the William Tell Overture, which has got to be in the public domain).
So, gaze in wonder at the slow-mo explosions, speeding locomotives, painted women riding a crescent moon (and no, that’s not a euphemism) and, of course, Johnny Depp wearing black-and-white face paint and a crow hat. If that’s not $215 million well spent, what is?